Friends (?)

Lets talk about Friends... And I use that term loosly. Its apparent that losing weight takes time and EFFORT. The last year and a half I've taken a considerable amount of time to focus on me... Some get that, some dont. I dont eat out so its very hard to turn down "girls nights" out to eat or at someone's house. I was in a position before where I knew I wasnt strong enough to hold back the urge of eating what I knew I shouldnt. So I'd go, and eat whatever-saying it was a one time thing, and then it would lead to a little down fall. I'd feel horrible, but yet still did it? Try to figure that one out! So to avoid this-I removed myself from those situations, whether it was going out to eat or simply just to visit someone. I wasnt confortable explaining to them why I couldnt go. So I'd usually just say I was busy-which in al honesty-I probably was...

I've also dedicated a lot of time to working out. Working full time and trying to fit in life, along with working out-its a VERY time consuming thing. I know I've probably hurt some people with my absence, and I truly am sorry for that. But please know none of it was intentional. I cant be the best to anyone if I'm not the best for myself.

I never realized how many people I'd lose while on this journey (not all because of me). I've definietely learned who some of my REAL friends are and some who arent-and honestly-still learning and weeding that out. As hard as it is to lose some people that I TRULY do LOVE and CARE about-I dont regret a thing I'm doing for myself. I'm the happiest I've ever been and I truly love being healthy and working out.

I really do have some genuine caring people in my life that I am MORE than blessed to have. Just wanted to thank the people who have been more than supportive and for the people who have still stuck around even though I've been soo distant/busy.

I'm trying to find a balance between work/working out/life/friends, and honestly-its hard. Theres days/weeks where I truly feel overwhelmed with learning how to balance all this. I never realized how much the weight loss journey would change sooo any aspects of my life. But I can honestly say-I love life :-)

Sorry I havent been posting as much (my computer is in repair-hopefully I'll have it back soon)!

Grocery List

I know I said I was going to post this a while back... But here it is...

My grocery list:

• Strawberries
• Blueberries
• Bananas
• Asparagus
• Carrots
• Cucumber
• Sugar Snap Peas
• Green Beans
• Ground Turkey (organic/natural)
• Chicken (organic)
• Frozen Sweet Potatoes Fries by Alexia (I will sometimes by sweet potatoes and make my own, but frozen is faster this is faster)
• Eggs (Organic)
• Almonds
• Macadamia Nuts
• Mustard (My ONLY condiment)
• Pepper
• Sea Salt
• Spices (Mrs. Dash)
• Olive Oil

I try to cut out a lot of fruit because of all the sugar/carbs and whenever there is the option of fruit vs. vegetable. I USUALLY choose the vegetable. 

current weight: 231

I've also noticed I have a lot of readers in other countries, especially Russia, and would love to hear from you guys... and people I know as well... 

vegurski@gmail.com

Also-Thank you to Pastor Lori for letting me use your computer while mine is in repair!

Is this real?

If you would have told me a year/year and a half ago that I'd be at the gym, working out, hanging out, some of my closest friends being "gym friends", and that I'd have lost over 100 pounds. I would have probably thought you were on drugs. But-here I am today. Loving going to the gym and as of today 104 pounds thinner. 

Lets  talk about today's workout:

15 minutes of free weights

1 hour Zumba with Paul (Thanks Paul!!!)

1 hour Strictly Strength class

THEN

I found a track by my house and did a half jog/half walk. I'd give my self "points". Jog from Red trash can to other red trash can, walk.... repeat. I've NEVER been able to jog in my life, for more than a second or two. 

I feel sooo accomplished... Not to mention sweaty as heck! 

Haha-here's a horrible pic!

And dinner for tonight:

Cucumber and carrots-I also had a protein shake before I left the gym.

All in all-I had a great workout day, and totally ready for bed!!!

Check up

I had my check up with my doctor today after 4 months. I know I've mentioned before how much I love her. But she honestly is the best. I LOVE going to see her! Its a great feeling to know that a doctor can be that proud of you. This woman is seriously the most genuine doctor ever. She's not just there to tell you what to do and tell you what your doing wrong. She's truly invested and truly cares. I left the doctor today feeling on top :-) 

She always gives me little quotes that stick and I live by them... The biggest one being "Nothing tastes as good, as being thin feels." (Hence the page heading.) Well today I was talking to her about how hard it is to be around people and eating and what not. Everyone has different opinions on whats healthy what I should  be eating, etc. I always tell them and myself "I cant eat that." Instead she said to say (or think) "I can eat it, I just choose not to." Hopefully this approach will give me a more empowering mind set-one that says-I'm in control. I also brought up a few other things I wasn't liking about the weight loss (excess skin is a big one). She then redirected my attention and made me list what I enjoy about losing weight:

• Increased energy
• My body feels better
• I do like my body despite the extra skin (I'd rather have it this way than be fat)
• I can "play" with the kids
• My clothing choices are expanding
• I can wear "normal" people bangles (bracelets)
• My knees and ankle (broke my ankle) don't hurt
• I feel GOOD having control over my life
• I enjoy educating myself on health and the science behind it
• The compliments from people never hurt :-)
• I can run
• Losing weight has made me motivated to try new things in life (like maybe school?)
• I'm more confident
• I'm healthy
• I enjoy working out
• My personality is different. I used to try to keep quiet and hide behind the fat me (we all know this is totally not the case anymore!)
• I feel the need to help other overweight people
• I have a neck
• I can feel my bones!

Its very easy to focus on negative things (the excess skin, the expense of healthy food, the expense of new clothes)-however those things can all be dealt with. I love the new me and wouldn't change it for the world. Although the excess skin is a huge deal to me... I'm a very image cautious person. Even when I was bigger I always dressed nice and made sure my appearance was on point. So now that I'm "thinner" the skin bothers me. However I have to realize 1.) I cant get skin removed till I lose all that I want, and keep it off for a while to be sure... 2.) It IS fixable. 

My doctor also asked that I make a poster (before and after) for her to show in the office (Nina! I may need your help with this!), which now has me digging through all my "fat" pics, so here's a few for you all! 

And here's a current pic:

None of my weight loss would be possible without the amazing support from my family, friends, and my wonderful doctor who truly is invested. I couldn't be more blessed and more appreciative. I just hope you all know and that I really do Thank you enough.

Oh-and if my doctor didn't fill my head enough for the day-I came home and was wearing only my leggings and black cami (mind you-all very body hugging clothes!) and my room mate says "Damn, I wish I had your self control and dedication. Your really getting skinny." 

 

Just when I'm feeling like its hard-I always get the motivation I need to keep on. God has changed my life in every aspect during the past 2 years and took some people out and brought some people in. And no doubt he put the people who I needed.

 

• Tam (thanks for the doctor recommendation!)
• My church family
• My adopted family
• New friends
• My gym family (Yes, Paul-that means you!)
• Family

 

 My doctor also being one of them. Couldn't love her more or be more appreciative of her :-) 

Thank you Dr. J! (its not just 1% you-its a whole lot more!)

Current weight: 236 (102 pounds lost)

Over night trip

The fam and I went on a little overnight trip Friday-Saturday. I was super excited but scared at the same time. Scared I'd relapse. The last time I relapsed and I mean RELAPSED to where I gained 30 pounds, was last summer when I had went on vacation. It was very hard to eat healthy and that one weekend vacation lead to a whole downward spiral of bad eating for several months.

So this year naturally, I was scared. We went to an amusement/water park. What the heck was I going to eat? We didn't have a stove/oven or anything to cook. There sure as heck isn't any healthy food in an amusement park... And they wonder why Americans are sooo obese. The only foods they had were corn dogs, fries, chicken tenders, hot dogs, and sugary drinks. So I did my best in packing healthy snacks. I hard boiled some eggs, brought carrots, natural applesauce, apples, bananas, some strawberries/blueberries, and a cucumber. Mind you a lot of it was gone by the time we got there! Its very hard to eat healthy/natural foods while on vacation. I was able to find a salad at the water park. I made a few mistakes-but when there is honestly NOTHING healthy and your hungry. I really had no choice. Nothing too crazy and still kept great thought behind whatever I did eat that wasn't part of my primal lifestyle. I'm a little disappointed but nothing too bad where I'm going to feel guilty. I seriously did the best I could do with the situation. 

However, I felt great in my bathing suit-which was good because it was 103 out, and I'll be darned if I was about to wear clothes! Overall we had fun at the water park and got great tans in the process :-)

I'm 100% back on track tomorrow with my primal eating!

Best 4th of July EVER!

Its been a little while since my last post. Been busy with work and the summer-also turned another year older! 

The past couple of weeks I've been VERY discouraged. I've been stuck at 99 pounds for about 3 weeks. I've been eating great. Doing everything my doctor and trainer have been telling me to do. And nothing... Scale hasn't moved! Seriously? 1 pound away from losing 100 and I'm stuck at 99. Unbelievable. Every Saturday I get on the scale and it reads 239 (99 pounds lost). ALL I want to get to is 238! 

Today I decided to weigh in... This was either going to really discourage me or keep me going.

Well, it read:

237!!!!!

Not only did I reach 100 pounds, I beat it by 1!!! I'm not done, but to get over that 100 mark felt great! 

I don't know why, but when I'm doing EVERYTHING I possibly know right, to lose this weight and I get stuck at a weight for a while. It doesn't motivate me to try harder... It pisses me off, so I'm like "obviously eating right isn't working might as well have a rice crispy treat (fill in your fav snack food) or cereal or..." well you get the point... Then I beat myself up about it. 

I feel great finally getting over 100 and am excited for the next 40-53ish to finally be at my goal weight!!! 

On a side note: I'm going on a mini vacation for a couple days and PRAYING I can find ways to eat healthy. Its very challenging while away from home to keep healthy. Other than the food issue, I'm excited to get a away! I'll let you know how it goes.

All in all-Today has been the best forth of July EVER!