Thursday, December 6, 2012

Fall

I've been debating heavily on whether or not I wanted to post this. But I promised myself and you that if I was going to start this blog, I wasn't going to hold back-so staying true to that-here I go...

It started Halloween Night-I had a few fun sized candies... No biggie...

Well, now its kind of a biggie seeing as 1 always leads to more and I'm not just referring to candy.

I have gained 7-10 lbs.

I'm not proud of this at all and quite disappointed in myself.

Halloween night I had some candy, some chips and brownies-told myself it was just that night (after all, it is Halloween!) Not soo much. The past month I have been making several of those "just one time" bites. And even occasionally found myself binging (not on good food). I was craving chips and salsa one night-not horrible right? Sure chips are carbs, but is this one night of chips and salsa going to make me fat? Not likely... So I go to Meijer and get chips and salsa. I somehow end up in the ice cream isle. I carefully pick out my "treat". A box of weight watchers mini (like 3 bite and its gone mini) ice cream sandwiches-8 in the box (which realistically is like 3 full size ones). Well not only do I eat most of the chips in the bag with salsa. I decide to binge on 6 of the 8 mini ice cream sandwiches. I HATED myself after leading myself to tears...

You'd think that would be enough to stop this from happening again right?



WRONG


The next day I had a craving for Pizza (Jets Pizza). I order it (a small pizza and small order of bread) and eat most of it and again-cry it out, beating myself up over it...

Then Thanksgiving comes-and I'm sure we allll know how that ends. I did tell myself that after Thanksgiving was gone-I was back to normal routine...

I cant understand why I'm doing this. I've worked sooo hard and wanting to lose more weight... Why am I self destructing again? This isn't me-this is the old Vit-the Vit I don't like or want to be...

There has been a lot going on this past month... I haven't been at the gym like I normally am because I've got a 2nd job, the Holidays are emotionally stressful, I found out I needed to move by the end of Nov. so that was stressful in itself. So with stress and lack of gym and everything in between I have a million excuses. But guess what? I can't use any of them because I've lost 136 and know the difference between whats good for me and whats bad. Does it suck that I've gained 7-10 pounds? Absolutely. I feel fat as heck and don't feel good about myself at all. But I have to take it as another learning experience through this whole journey. Let me tell you... They don't call it a journey for nothing!

Bottom line is-no one is perfect and more than likely if your trying to lose weight you will fall off track and may gain a few pounds. That sentence is not meant to be negative. But take those "falls" and turn them into a learning experience and come out of it even stronger :-)