Changes...

Once I finally realized I had to make changes-it WASN'T easy. I DIDN'T know how to even eat healthy. My interpretation of a semi healthy meal was-Chicken (in any form, including fried, corn and a potato.) Boy, was I wrong! I had never eaten a salad in my life! What would I want to eat a leaf?! They belong on trees! I was still pretty devastated about having to cut out carbs, and ALMOST everything I ate on a daily basis. My life consisted of fast food (sometimes numerous times a day-with an upgrade), frozen pizza, frozen chicken strips, fast food, frozen french fries, Mac N Cheese, pasta, bread, fast food, cereal, chips, pretzels, potatoes, corn (as my one and only vegetable), I loved fruit-but only ate it when we had it... Oh-and did I mention fast food? I drank large amounts of pop and juice. I was basically killing myself and not even knowing. I knew some of this wasn't good, but I had to give it ALL up? 

Tam helped me with everything. I worked as a nanny next door to where she lived, so she would often make me lunches and bring them over so she knew that even if I cheated (which I did-at times) I would have at least ONE healthy meal. I slowly took foods out of my diet. I DID NOT take it all out at once. It was a looonnggg process. I also would not settle for giving up potatoes, so I continued to eat them, but ONLY baked-no butter with sea salt and pepper. The food change, was horrible. I realized food had become a comfort for me. Something I could depend on during my good and BAD times. It would make me feel better, and I knew it would always be there. I also realized my portion sizes were probably 3 or 4 times more than what "normal" was considered. I seriously thought I was going to starve. Tam kept telling me more protein, less carbs and sugar! How do I know what has protein and carbs? Then I find out there's good carbs and bad crabs! How do I know?! I knew nothing, like I said! She walked me through everything and was there every step of the way. On my good, bad, and ugly days-and let me tell you, when I couldn't get something that consisted of carbs, I turned ugly. If I were her, I would have given up on myself. Let me tell you-she NEVER gave up. She was always sooo positive and very determined to get her friend healthy, which motivated me. If any of you are struggling with weight loss. I honestly hope you have a "Tam" in your life. I would have NEVER been able to do it on my own.

I wasn't ready to work out. I was still "too fat" to work out (in my opinion). So that meant I seriously had to change what I was eating if I wanted to start losing some pounds. Well, the pounds started falling off... No fast food, no more frozen foods, cut a lot of carbs and sugar out. I was mostly eating meat, yogurt, eggs, fruits, I was still working on the vegetable part :-) I tried to learn to like salads, and as long as there was meat in there I could handle it. I was losing weight and starting to feel better about myself. Don't get me wrong, I craved carbs, sugar and greasy foods still! But I knew I HAD to lose weight.

Just when I was starting to do good, Tam challenges me. NO CARBS FOR 2 WEEKS, NO CARBS! I think the words that came out of my mouth were "Your freaking crazy" "Your trying to kill me" "No way, you've really lost it". Well, what she didn't know was-I love a challenge. I love to prove people wrong. Or maybe she did know, and that's why she did it?! Regardless, I told her I would do it, and... I DID it! It was hard, but the weight loss at the end of the 2 weeks was well worth it! After that I continued to give up carbs, except for potatoes (I'm Polish and Italian! Potatoes are part of me!). Don't think it was that easy though. I still had times (quite a few) that I cheated. Can I also tell you-I felt TOTALLY guilty each time I did too.

Over the next few months, still not exercising, but eating good and only drinking water-I was dropping pounds like nothing! I had lost 60-65 pounds on just changing my diet. Mostly watching carbs, I NEVER looked at calories or the fat! I LOVED the compliment about how good I looked, and how proud everyone was of me. It kept me going! It was good, I could handle this... 

Until... Tam suggests I join a gym... "Your on drugs, no way am I going to a gym with a bunch of skinny people. I'm too fat too workout!" And that was my answer for probably the next month or two... Then...................... I caved... She talked me into it. I'll never forget the ride to the gym-she was sooooo excited. Me? Not so much, I was nervous, scared and every other emotion you can think of! And we weren't even working out-just going to sign up! I had NEVER stepped foot into a gym. Gyms were for skinny people, NOT fat people. We got through the registration and left. Tam-still excited... Me-still scared! Now what? I have a gym membership, what do I do? I don't know the first thing about working out-I still get winded just walking! Well, she convinced me to try Zumba, its just dancing-how hard can it be? HARD! I was still 270 some pounds, moving quick and bouncing around for an hour wasn't easy. Fun but hard as heck. I looked like an idiot for a WHILE! I would make sure I was in the back of the class! I already felt uncomfortable because I was fat, I didn't need everyone watching me! However, I always broke a sweat so I continued going and continued to strengthen myself and kept getting better and still sweating :-) (I feel like my workout was useless if I don't break a good sweat!) I was doing good and loving the gym.

Then...

Something happened......

(Stay tuned!)